Messenger of the Unspeakable is an exploration on a moment-to-moment basis of the various issues we as humans have a difficult time speaking about. It is a commitment to honesty and facing our humanness. Topics such as relationship, sex, eating, our bodies and self-image, and how we relate to ourselves & others will be explored openly and in an embodied way. All of us have Primary selves that have developed to do the job we had to do to survive our family of origin, and the pressures of society. Right around us and in us lays other parts of ourselves that cry out for full expression wanting to be seen, acknowledged and loved. Creating a non-judgmental and safe space for these parts, issues and ideas to be expressed and shared is what this blog is about. Wanting people to be vulnerable I must meet them with my own truth. The goal with Messenger of the Unspeakable is to support and help others to break the shame and discomfort that something is wrong, and to recognize that so many of us face these same issues. Together we can grow and learn, and find more self-acceptance along the way. Through kindness, patience and sharing we will help one another to shine and recognize how powerful and useful we are bringing our struggles and shadow sides with us. They are with us anyway so why not shine a light on them?
In facing my own unspeakable, my life is filled with comfort and discomfort, confidence and fear. Although I feel a strong sense of myself, I become vulnerable and influenced by other’s opinions and judgments.
Today I went for a run on an unfamiliar trail. I was both excited and frightened, aware and not. In my body, grounded, and then freaked out. The trail for me represents having a sense of where I am – a direction. Being ‘home’ even while being away from home. But I can become scared, unsure, young, vulnerable, self-doubting and have periods of feeling lost. Yet I’m on a well-marked trail perfectly carved out and clear. The trail is also a metaphor for our lives, moment to moment, feeling on and off. Embodied and disembodied, adult and child, confident and terrified, relaxed and tense. The trail is my messenger of truth and teaches me about embodiment through metal awareness (‘catching myself’), and learning about my mind.