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Today July 1st 2013 I see you and feel you in everything. It is just one week after you have died. Today you share with me that you are FREE. Whenever we discuss this a yellow butterfly visits me. When I cry in deep grief the yellow butterfly comes to me. I realize that from this WIDE OPEN VULNERABLE PLACE, the trees, butterflies birds and animals feel me and they feel safer to visit me. They come so close they say so much they share their sensitivity with me.
Death is Still, Death is Free, Death is in you and Death is in me . You said this to me Mom as you died. Your death Mom has given me Life! It has awakened in me the nuances of being….alive. I now live for the moments you visit me and, I realize that your life and breath is in me. I see that full living and being in Body is a practice and preparation for our death. I am no longer afraid Mom you made dying a birth for me into full courageous brave living. You died the way you lived mom elegantly with total integrity and without any medication. This is mind blowing.
Your end of life breathing sounding like the breath of a marathon runner and you gave it your all! You blew air out and made sounds like a horse. After death your body looked and felt like you were turning into stone, your favorite creative medium that you sculpted in.
Your last words were ” I have it and I’ve always had it”. “I love you”. Me too Mom forever and always. Thank you for being the greatest teacher and friend to me.