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Tonight I am feeling so much sadness and trying to understand why. My mom died over eight months ago and I still long to be in constant conversation and connection with her. Why do I long to meet with her as much as possible? I live for connection with others. I send 20-30 letters out a month, I’m constantly texting and emailing friends to remind them of my love. I treat calls to family and friends as if today was my last day. Since a near death experience at the age of seventeen, I’ve lived this way. Tonight I’m realizing most people I know don’t exist this way and it makes me curious. For now I will continue to live for meeting my mom, for meeting my mom in deep conversation.